


Just... remember

by WormsOnAString



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: (This is a fic full of me projecting), Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Juno Steel (Mentioned) - Freeform, Memory Issues, Negative Self Talk, Peter Nureyev Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:02:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28376655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WormsOnAString/pseuds/WormsOnAString
Summary: Studying the files for the new job... why can't Peter remember anything in them?***This is a fic of me projecting my memory issues onto Nureyev. I did very little editing but also... Nureyev <3
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel (Mentioned)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	Just... remember

Peter sat at his desk. This was nothing new. There were only a few hours before the next job and as always, he had to be doing something. Sleep was important, but there was always more to do in a time like this. There was always some way to make yourself useful.

On a normal night, Nureyev got a solid 7 hours of sleep, the last week, it was spotty at best.

The heist for tomorrow was the Swanson Household, a rich family whose blood ran deep with secrets and deeper with a strange drug, reminiscent of Theya tech.

This was a sore spot for Juno, Nureyev could see that at every point of every mission brief. It was startling but it brought to light one thing. Peter had to be perfect, tonight especially. For Juno.

Anything for Juno.

He had to be perfect.

Play the role just right.

Tomorrow he will be the eager Dashen Flagg, an overly curious reporter who loved to ask questions about the family's fortune. Darn those nosy reporters!

Juno would be Cooper Tann, the assistant reporter who…. Was a bit handsy with objects at times. If he happened to break a vase or two... well the family can hardly blame him! He is very nervous after all!

The info, it was laid out right in front of him. Folder open, pages spread. Peter and Juno, soon to be Dashen and Cooper.

They will be landing on the planet floor by 9 tomorrow. They would be leaving for the house by 11.

Nureyev, you have work to do. This was supposed to be memorized last week.

He flipped through sheet after sheet until he got to the last page of the folder. 

Again.

Again.

He had gone through this yesterday, why did it all seem… so new. He couldn’t be wasting time like this. There were other things to review, other things to remember. 

If he could only grasp those last few pages. The most important ones. The ones that sold the show to their unknowing audience. 

He grasped to remember the information. He needed to do this. He needed to remember it.

He almost had it.

But we both know, he didn’t. There was nothing in Nureyev’s mind but a vague shape he could feel, but never see, nor describe.

He sat there frustrated.

The information he had spent hours on trying to get down the past week was just… gone.

God he was useless. Why did they ever want him aboard this ship. He couldn’t do shit.

But Ransom could.

That’s right, he thought, to them, he was Ransom, not Nureyev.

Ransom was just… the better version of himself, Peter had decided, hence why he kept the first name.

But now, he needed to act the part. The flawless thief. That’s him.

Act the part, Nureyev. Ransom was useful. Ransom got things done. Just… become Ransom.

Do the work. Get it done.

Back to the beginning. 

Back to work.

He read through the same pages again, watching closely this time. Trying to catch the details. They wouldn’t slip out. Not this time.

The words, they were familiar, the pictures were filled with the same shapes and colors as every other time he had looked through the booklet in the past week. This should have been some sign of hope to Peter’s blank mind. Instead it only brought on more frustration.

He just… needed to remember something. 

This was not for him, he reminded himself. This was for Juno. Do it for Juno, Ransom. 

Remember.  
How will he remember?

Reach for memory of the plans, only to find there was nothing there to hold. Repeat the process. Hold on to any new information you can find.

Go again. Flip through the pages again. Try to remember again.

Reach. 

Nothing. 

Again.

Reach.

Nothing.

Go again.

Read it through. Try to remember a bit more every time. It always slipped out the other end.

People couldn’t know. They trusted him. He couldn’t let them down. 

Learn the last three pages. Simple identity facts. Come on Ransom.

Focus.

Flip the page.

Nureyev couldn’t remember. 

Read that graph.

But Ransom had to.

Remember that picture.

They were counting on him.

Check that fact.

He couldn’t let them down.

Read the jumbled piled of too many words.

Make it work, Peter. The thoughts ran through his head. There had to be a way to make them stick.

Make it work, Nureyev. You are doing this for Juno. That is your pressure. Don’t do it for you, do it for Juno.

Make it work, Ransom. You are not Nureyev, you have to be perfect. Make. It. Work.

So he went on.

And on.

And on.

There was a shake and Peter realized the ship had set down. Goddamn. 

Things were in his memory this time but… the facts weren’t complete. There was always something there. There was something missing.

He needed to fix this.

He just needed to try harder next time.

He needed to do better next time.

That’s it. He just wasn’t trying hard enough.

Next time, he would do better.

He had to.

Peter left his room for coffee. 

Get ready for the mission in ten.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! I just wanted to say that it's ok to not remember something and it's ok to ask for help!
> 
> I love you!  
> Drink water, eat food!  
> -Worms


End file.
